Terry and his girlfriend Niki, who is deaf, are invited to the Halloween Party of Justine Cameron, a girl who has only recently transferred to Shadyside High. They are puzzled that just nine people have been invited, and none of them seem to have much in common. Some are jocks, others are deemed "wimps". A competition soon develops between the jocks and the wimps, spurred on by the rivalry Terry has with former close friend Alex, ever since Niki dumped Alex for Terry. Yep, that will end a friendship.
The attendees discover that this Halloween Party has a lot of surprises in store. To say much more could possibly be considered spoilers, but a dead body does pop up at some point, just to reassure us this is actually a thriller.
It's difficult to be too hard on a "Fear Street" book. They are products of a different time. A simpler time. I still remember running off to Myer after school with the $5.95 I'd saved up with parental money that was supposed to go towards lunch and buying each new monthly release. It was always exciting to settle down in my room and read for the rest of the night. Of course, reading "Halloween Party" today only took me 80 minutes, while I was at work.
This came out before Stine started dumping ridiculous, last-minute supernatural twists into his tales, so the plot is relatively well-constructed, and a believable motive is given for all the mayhem. (Revenge, baby!). However, it just takes too long to get there. A lot of time is spent on your typical he's-dead-oh-now-he's-not-dead "surprises" and a largely pointless subplot involving two bullies annoyed that they weren't invited. It's very obvious who the culprit is, but at least nobody turns out to be a fucking ghost.
Of note - this entry has a male protagonist! Girlfriend Niki is well-developed, much more so than what is usually found in these books.
I much prefer these Fear Street books of old. The reboot needs to look at returning to this familiar format, otherwise I don't see it lasting much further than its initial six-book order.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Saturday, November 14, 2015
"Pop Goes The Weasel" by M.J. Arlidge
Detective Inspector Helen Grace is still haunted by the events of the previous book "Eeny Meeny", in which she had to shoot dead her serial killer sister. Now she's head of a new investigation, as men are turning up murdered, with their hearts removed, and the hearts later delivered to either their home or work. It is soon established that the men all visited prostitutes, so the team must figure out if they have a violent, vigilante prostitute on their hands.
Meanwhile, Helen must face off against a new chief who (of course) wants her head on a platter, and a journalist who has some sort of bizarre obsession with bringing her down. She is also following around a young man named Robert Stonehill, determined to keep watch over him.
I read "Eeny Meeny" and thought it was cliched and silly. It was gross just for the sake of it, and came with a ridiculous Cop-With-A-Haunted-Past subplot that resulted in one of the stupidest twists I've come across in a while. Quite similar, in fact, to "Taboo" by Casey Hill, even further rendering it unoriginal. It also had the distinction of giving us a heroine who enjoyed participating in S&M as a way to release tension and escape demons. Yes, really.
Most books end with some sort of hope on the horizon for its main character, along with personal growth etc. "Eeny Meeny" was no exception. I can't say I was terribly surprised that Helen Grace had regressed entirely by the start of this second book, but I was still disappointed. She's still going to see Jake, her "dom", and getting whipped whenever the stress gets to be too much, despite the first book suggesting she was ready to move on from this.
Sorry, I just can't get on board with the main character being into S&M. It's such an obvious, see-through ploy to try and make our heroine tough and gritty, when it's simply not needed. The fact that Helen had not grown at all since "Eeny Meeny" and we were once again back to this ridiculous subplot started this book on the negative.
Not much improved from there. Although the James Patterson-style short chapters enable faster reading, it can't hide the pointless extraneous material. We get lots of chapters that simply don't need to be there. Points of view from characters who are largely superfluous to the plot. In particular, we get a chapter from an unnamed "thief" as he breaks into a tenement. We already know his only point of existence is to find a dead body - except he doesn't. He opens the door to the room where the body is, and that's where the chapter ends.
The person-who-finds-a-dead-body trope is one I can't stand, and this is a particularly asinine example of it.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO HOW IT WASN'T SIMPLY AN EXERCISE IN UPPING WORD COUNT?????
Cliches fly thick and fast from there. Helen has a new boss, who also happens to be out for glory and has a grudge against Helen. Her reason? I think simply because she can.
And if Helen's misery wasn't enough, we learn the sad backstory of her colleague Tony Bridges, whose young wife is confined to bed thanks to locked-in syndrome after a stroke.
Arlidge just lays it all on so thick.
While this isn't as ridiculous as "Eeny Meeny", it's all rather flat and boring. Lots of internal angst amongst the main characters - and a few minor ones as well - but not enough twists and turns in the plot. Much like the first novel, Helen conveniently notices an important fact, and our killer is uncovered. I'm not sure I get her reasoning, either. She figures it out because the first heart was delivered to the family, and the other hearts were delivered to work. No, not quite. Simon Brooks' heart was delivered personally to his own poor son. So the book doesn't even have its own internal logic.
The less said about the journalist subplot the better. It irked me from start to finish.
Why did I read this? Well, it was on special offer on Kindle, and I'd already read the first one, and thought this might be a step up.
Sigh. I never learn. Maybe that's why the characters in these books never do, either.
Meanwhile, Helen must face off against a new chief who (of course) wants her head on a platter, and a journalist who has some sort of bizarre obsession with bringing her down. She is also following around a young man named Robert Stonehill, determined to keep watch over him.
I read "Eeny Meeny" and thought it was cliched and silly. It was gross just for the sake of it, and came with a ridiculous Cop-With-A-Haunted-Past subplot that resulted in one of the stupidest twists I've come across in a while. Quite similar, in fact, to "Taboo" by Casey Hill, even further rendering it unoriginal. It also had the distinction of giving us a heroine who enjoyed participating in S&M as a way to release tension and escape demons. Yes, really.
Most books end with some sort of hope on the horizon for its main character, along with personal growth etc. "Eeny Meeny" was no exception. I can't say I was terribly surprised that Helen Grace had regressed entirely by the start of this second book, but I was still disappointed. She's still going to see Jake, her "dom", and getting whipped whenever the stress gets to be too much, despite the first book suggesting she was ready to move on from this.
Sorry, I just can't get on board with the main character being into S&M. It's such an obvious, see-through ploy to try and make our heroine tough and gritty, when it's simply not needed. The fact that Helen had not grown at all since "Eeny Meeny" and we were once again back to this ridiculous subplot started this book on the negative.
Not much improved from there. Although the James Patterson-style short chapters enable faster reading, it can't hide the pointless extraneous material. We get lots of chapters that simply don't need to be there. Points of view from characters who are largely superfluous to the plot. In particular, we get a chapter from an unnamed "thief" as he breaks into a tenement. We already know his only point of existence is to find a dead body - except he doesn't. He opens the door to the room where the body is, and that's where the chapter ends.
The person-who-finds-a-dead-body trope is one I can't stand, and this is a particularly asinine example of it.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO HOW IT WASN'T SIMPLY AN EXERCISE IN UPPING WORD COUNT?????
Cliches fly thick and fast from there. Helen has a new boss, who also happens to be out for glory and has a grudge against Helen. Her reason? I think simply because she can.
And if Helen's misery wasn't enough, we learn the sad backstory of her colleague Tony Bridges, whose young wife is confined to bed thanks to locked-in syndrome after a stroke.
Arlidge just lays it all on so thick.
While this isn't as ridiculous as "Eeny Meeny", it's all rather flat and boring. Lots of internal angst amongst the main characters - and a few minor ones as well - but not enough twists and turns in the plot. Much like the first novel, Helen conveniently notices an important fact, and our killer is uncovered. I'm not sure I get her reasoning, either. She figures it out because the first heart was delivered to the family, and the other hearts were delivered to work. No, not quite. Simon Brooks' heart was delivered personally to his own poor son. So the book doesn't even have its own internal logic.
The less said about the journalist subplot the better. It irked me from start to finish.
Why did I read this? Well, it was on special offer on Kindle, and I'd already read the first one, and thought this might be a step up.
Sigh. I never learn. Maybe that's why the characters in these books never do, either.
Monday, November 9, 2015
"Citizen Vince" by Jess Walter
Vince Camden works at a donut shop in Spokane, Washington. What the people in Spokane don't know about him is that he is in the witness protection program after testifying against members of the mob. Even with his new identity, he hasn't changed his ways much, running a credit card scam, and gambling.
When he receives a card to say he's registered to vote, it ignites within him a desire to go straight and turn his life around.
However, the arrival in town of Ray throws a spanner in the works. Vince recognises Ray from his days in the mob - and Ray is a well-known hitman. While in town, Ray soon hooks up with Lenny to muscle Vince out of the credit card scam. Vince must go to New York to find out if Ray has been sent to kill him, or whether this was just a coincidence. While there, he sets about righting some of the wrongs from his past.
Vince also winds up in the sights of Det. Alan Dupree after the murder of Doug, another member of his credit card scam.
Set against the backdrop of the 1980 presidential election, Citizen Vince is a highly entertaining hybrid of droll comedy and tough noir crime. You genuinely find yourself on side with Vince as he strives for something better in his life, such as opening his own restaurant and settling down with Beth, his sort-of girlfriend. He sees his right to vote as an indication that his thoughts and beliefs actually matter, and that one vote can make a difference.
Strong characters combine with a plot that delivers some nifty twists.
There were some weaknesses. We get an entire chapter from the view point of one of the presidential candidates. It adds nothing to the central story. Vince himself never reveals who he voted for, because it is largely irrelevant. It's what being able to vote symbolises for Vince that is at the crux of the book, not who he actually votes for. This particular chapter from the candidate is pointless and, frankly, dull.
Alan Dupree's interactions with Det. Donnie Charles are interesting and entertaining, but also pertain little to the central plot. If they were removed from the narrative entirely, it wouldn't make any difference. It was possibly included for length - this one only clocks in at under 300 pages.
Otherwise, it was very refreshing to read something a little different and offbeat, that doesn't throw out the same old cliches. I really enjoyed it.
When he receives a card to say he's registered to vote, it ignites within him a desire to go straight and turn his life around.
However, the arrival in town of Ray throws a spanner in the works. Vince recognises Ray from his days in the mob - and Ray is a well-known hitman. While in town, Ray soon hooks up with Lenny to muscle Vince out of the credit card scam. Vince must go to New York to find out if Ray has been sent to kill him, or whether this was just a coincidence. While there, he sets about righting some of the wrongs from his past.
Vince also winds up in the sights of Det. Alan Dupree after the murder of Doug, another member of his credit card scam.
Set against the backdrop of the 1980 presidential election, Citizen Vince is a highly entertaining hybrid of droll comedy and tough noir crime. You genuinely find yourself on side with Vince as he strives for something better in his life, such as opening his own restaurant and settling down with Beth, his sort-of girlfriend. He sees his right to vote as an indication that his thoughts and beliefs actually matter, and that one vote can make a difference.
Strong characters combine with a plot that delivers some nifty twists.
There were some weaknesses. We get an entire chapter from the view point of one of the presidential candidates. It adds nothing to the central story. Vince himself never reveals who he voted for, because it is largely irrelevant. It's what being able to vote symbolises for Vince that is at the crux of the book, not who he actually votes for. This particular chapter from the candidate is pointless and, frankly, dull.
Alan Dupree's interactions with Det. Donnie Charles are interesting and entertaining, but also pertain little to the central plot. If they were removed from the narrative entirely, it wouldn't make any difference. It was possibly included for length - this one only clocks in at under 300 pages.
Otherwise, it was very refreshing to read something a little different and offbeat, that doesn't throw out the same old cliches. I really enjoyed it.
Friday, November 6, 2015
"Watch The World Burn" by Leah Giarratano
Miriam Caine is having dinner with her son David at Incendie, an up-scale restaurant, when she seemingly spontaneously bursts into flames. Restaurant manager Troy Berrigan is first to assist in putting out the flames, but Miriam later dies of her injuries.
Other mysterious attacks occur. A woman is shoved off a platform in front of a train. Acid is thrown onto several teenagers at a shopping centre. And a cop is killed when a Molotov cocktail is thrown into his car and he crashes into a bus.
This cop happens to be Scotty Hutchinson, partner at work and in bed, of Sgt Jill Jackson. She has a complete meltdown at the news of his death, and is sent to a retreat to recover. She asks that Federal Agent Gabriel Delahunt keep her in the loop in regards to the case's progress.
The main suspect seems to be Troy Berrigan. An ex-cop, he's hated by the police force after turning whistleblower, and they're all eager to pin it on him, despite lack of evidence. Whilst coping with family issues of his own, he sets out to find the truth and clear his name.
Which is more than Jill Jackson can do, and she's supposed to be the main character in this story. I barely remember a thing about "Vodka Doesn't Freeze" (I read it more than six years ago), which was the first book in this series. I mentioned in that post that Jill wasn't a particularly cluey detective, and nothing seems to have changed here in book number four. (I haven't read parts two or three). There certainly isn't a thing she figures out for herself, unless you count who was stealing lollies at the private retreat. Yes, really.
What is the point of having a central protagonist in your series if said protagonist is going to sit most of the story out, behaving like a hot mess? When I read "Vodka Doesn't Freeze" I had a lot of trouble believing Jill Jackson could even get in to the police force considering she had not recovered from a horrific childhood that involved being kidnapped and raped for three days when she was twelve. Here, while in the squad room discussing Scotty's death, she begins to imagine her boss calling her a whore, at which point she starts screaming non-stop, and crawls under a desk.
She then self-destructs completely and behaves like a belligerent child when concerned friends and family try to get her psychological help.
Grief aside, this is not the sort of person you want running about the city while licenced to carry a gun.
Therefore, we have an okay mystery thriller padded out to an extreme length thanks to Jill's stay in a psychiatric retreat. It has nothing to do with the rest of the story. I'm sure it's accurate, as Giarratano is a psychologist, but it's not terribly exciting or suspenseful. It doesn't add to the main plot, and it further makes me wonder how the f*** Jill manages to remain employed when she's clearly a childish, selfish basket-case (yes, I know she suffered horrendous abuse as a child, but she knows she's behaving like a douche and just uses this past as a way to excuse it).
Don't the police require some sort of psychiatric review in order to become and remain a cop?
HOW DOES JILL PASS THESE TESTS? She flips out completely at work and nobody seems to bat an eyelid.
Troy Berrigan is a decent protagonist. He at least takes charge of his situation, and I felt bad for him trying to do the right thing all the time, and only getting in strife for it.
There aren't many suspects in the crime, the motivation given is pretty lacking, and the story doesn't offer many surprises. Probably because we spend too much time with Jill in meltdown mode, rather than beefing up the storyline. Too much time was also spent with the character of Erin Hart and, although she's not unlikeable, it should have become clearer sooner what sort of importance she had in the story. Lots of chapters about the ins-and-outs of her life with little clarification as to why I should care.
It wasn't awful (close), and was reasonably diverting. It also looks like the last of the Jill Jackson series. Giarratano (like a lot of other authors), has seemingly moved on to young adult supernatural/dystopian stories. I guess you need to go where the money is.
Other mysterious attacks occur. A woman is shoved off a platform in front of a train. Acid is thrown onto several teenagers at a shopping centre. And a cop is killed when a Molotov cocktail is thrown into his car and he crashes into a bus.
This cop happens to be Scotty Hutchinson, partner at work and in bed, of Sgt Jill Jackson. She has a complete meltdown at the news of his death, and is sent to a retreat to recover. She asks that Federal Agent Gabriel Delahunt keep her in the loop in regards to the case's progress.
The main suspect seems to be Troy Berrigan. An ex-cop, he's hated by the police force after turning whistleblower, and they're all eager to pin it on him, despite lack of evidence. Whilst coping with family issues of his own, he sets out to find the truth and clear his name.
Which is more than Jill Jackson can do, and she's supposed to be the main character in this story. I barely remember a thing about "Vodka Doesn't Freeze" (I read it more than six years ago), which was the first book in this series. I mentioned in that post that Jill wasn't a particularly cluey detective, and nothing seems to have changed here in book number four. (I haven't read parts two or three). There certainly isn't a thing she figures out for herself, unless you count who was stealing lollies at the private retreat. Yes, really.
What is the point of having a central protagonist in your series if said protagonist is going to sit most of the story out, behaving like a hot mess? When I read "Vodka Doesn't Freeze" I had a lot of trouble believing Jill Jackson could even get in to the police force considering she had not recovered from a horrific childhood that involved being kidnapped and raped for three days when she was twelve. Here, while in the squad room discussing Scotty's death, she begins to imagine her boss calling her a whore, at which point she starts screaming non-stop, and crawls under a desk.
She then self-destructs completely and behaves like a belligerent child when concerned friends and family try to get her psychological help.
Grief aside, this is not the sort of person you want running about the city while licenced to carry a gun.
Therefore, we have an okay mystery thriller padded out to an extreme length thanks to Jill's stay in a psychiatric retreat. It has nothing to do with the rest of the story. I'm sure it's accurate, as Giarratano is a psychologist, but it's not terribly exciting or suspenseful. It doesn't add to the main plot, and it further makes me wonder how the f*** Jill manages to remain employed when she's clearly a childish, selfish basket-case (yes, I know she suffered horrendous abuse as a child, but she knows she's behaving like a douche and just uses this past as a way to excuse it).
Don't the police require some sort of psychiatric review in order to become and remain a cop?
HOW DOES JILL PASS THESE TESTS? She flips out completely at work and nobody seems to bat an eyelid.
Troy Berrigan is a decent protagonist. He at least takes charge of his situation, and I felt bad for him trying to do the right thing all the time, and only getting in strife for it.
There aren't many suspects in the crime, the motivation given is pretty lacking, and the story doesn't offer many surprises. Probably because we spend too much time with Jill in meltdown mode, rather than beefing up the storyline. Too much time was also spent with the character of Erin Hart and, although she's not unlikeable, it should have become clearer sooner what sort of importance she had in the story. Lots of chapters about the ins-and-outs of her life with little clarification as to why I should care.
It wasn't awful (close), and was reasonably diverting. It also looks like the last of the Jill Jackson series. Giarratano (like a lot of other authors), has seemingly moved on to young adult supernatural/dystopian stories. I guess you need to go where the money is.
Monday, October 19, 2015
"What The Dead Know" by Laura Lippman
A woman leaves the scene of a car accident. When police catch up with her, she claims she is one of the "Bethany girls". It's suspected she's suffering minor head injuries, so her claims need to be investigated further.
The Bethany girls were Heather (11) and Sunny (15), who disappeared without a trace thirty years earlier after going to the mall on their own. The complete absence of any clues had an obviously devastating effect on their parents, Dave and Miriam.
Det. Kevin Infante pulls out the cold case so that he can find out for sure if this woman is telling the truth. However, the woman has now clammed up and won't reveal a thing, making all the medical staff, lawyers and law enforcement run around to dig up the facts themselves.
Hmmm, so what do the dead know? I'd say they know they're bored. This was a pile of shit.
It's biggest problem is its complete narcissistic bitch of a main character. Is-she-or-isn't-she-Heather Bethany has absolutely no discernible reason to stay silent. Instead of putting the insolent c*** in the slammer and making her talk, they indulge her snotty behaviour to a ridiculous degree, laboriously hunting down clues that she could actually tell them outright. The book only exists because Heather insists on acting like a childish bitch at every opportunity. I absolutely detested her, and it made it difficult to keep going.
Kevin Infante isn't much better. He thinks with his dick, has an equally snotty attitude, and after about the fifth time he fat-shamed his former police partner Nancy Porter, I wanted to reach into the book and punch him in the mouth.
To cover up the lack of plot, Lippman likes to pretend she is exploring the slow disintegration of a family after a tragedy. We go back in time at various stages to see how Miriam and Dave are faring. But it adds nothing to nothing. Why do I care about Dave finally finding success with his store? Why do I care that Miriam has decided to learn Spanish. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
If the only way you can create a mystery is to have your characters act in ways that are completely different to our Earth-bound logic, then you're not doing your job. I hated the characters, the is-she-or-isn't-she mystery is painfully thin, the excessive head-jumping only pads out a story that is already over-padded, and the narrative is just loaded with casual homophobia and nasty fat-shaming.
After this and "Life Sentences", Lippman has just limped off my reading list. Absolute dreck from start to finish.
The Bethany girls were Heather (11) and Sunny (15), who disappeared without a trace thirty years earlier after going to the mall on their own. The complete absence of any clues had an obviously devastating effect on their parents, Dave and Miriam.
Det. Kevin Infante pulls out the cold case so that he can find out for sure if this woman is telling the truth. However, the woman has now clammed up and won't reveal a thing, making all the medical staff, lawyers and law enforcement run around to dig up the facts themselves.
Hmmm, so what do the dead know? I'd say they know they're bored. This was a pile of shit.
It's biggest problem is its complete narcissistic bitch of a main character. Is-she-or-isn't-she-Heather Bethany has absolutely no discernible reason to stay silent. Instead of putting the insolent c*** in the slammer and making her talk, they indulge her snotty behaviour to a ridiculous degree, laboriously hunting down clues that she could actually tell them outright. The book only exists because Heather insists on acting like a childish bitch at every opportunity. I absolutely detested her, and it made it difficult to keep going.
Kevin Infante isn't much better. He thinks with his dick, has an equally snotty attitude, and after about the fifth time he fat-shamed his former police partner Nancy Porter, I wanted to reach into the book and punch him in the mouth.
To cover up the lack of plot, Lippman likes to pretend she is exploring the slow disintegration of a family after a tragedy. We go back in time at various stages to see how Miriam and Dave are faring. But it adds nothing to nothing. Why do I care about Dave finally finding success with his store? Why do I care that Miriam has decided to learn Spanish. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
If the only way you can create a mystery is to have your characters act in ways that are completely different to our Earth-bound logic, then you're not doing your job. I hated the characters, the is-she-or-isn't-she mystery is painfully thin, the excessive head-jumping only pads out a story that is already over-padded, and the narrative is just loaded with casual homophobia and nasty fat-shaming.
After this and "Life Sentences", Lippman has just limped off my reading list. Absolute dreck from start to finish.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
"The Death Sculptor" by Chris Carter
This rambling about "The Death Sculptor" will contain SPOILERS within.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Det. Robert Hunter and his partner Det. Carlos Garcia are called to the scene of a disturbing crime, in which a popular prosecutor has been murdered. Not only that, he has been completely dismembered, and his body-parts rearranged to display a gruesome tableau. Because the victim worked for the state, the District Attorney gets involved and assigns their investigator Alice Beaumont to the case to help them out.
They eventually discover that the sculpture was arranged so that it could make a shadow puppet - the shadow of the sculpture creates an image against the wall.
The next murder is of a seasoned police officer, so the team quickly set about trying to find a link between the two bodies. They eventually arrive at the conclusion this is the work of Ken Sands, a criminal recently released from prison, having served his full sentence, and the most likely to have a beef with both victims. He is also super-smart, having studied medicine in jail in order for him to have the skills to amputate limbs.
But if Hunter is to catch Sands, he must figure out what he is trying to say with the shadow puppets he creates out of each murder scene.
First of all, it has to pointed out that the killer isn't Ken Sands at all. This is despite the fact we have chapter after chapter of Hunter, Garcia and Beaumont carrying out an investigation and discovering all the different ways he matches their profile. Cunning, nasty and possessing medical-school abilities that allows him to prolong life while cutting off a person's limbs just to torture them longer. They find a reasonable motive that could push him to carry out the murders.
But who cares about all that set-up? The killer is actually Olivia Nicholson, the daughter of the first victim. It turns out she was adopted and previously dropped out of medical school. Her father, and all the other victims, once made up a group that liked to rape and beat prostitutes. Olivia was the daughter of one who died, and they used their knowledge of the law to dispose of the body (they dismembered it and dumped it in the ocean), and her father adopted her. Upon learning he was dying of cancer, he confessed all to his daughter, prompting the massacre.
Which makes chapter after chapter - pretty much the whole book - setting up Ken Sands as the culprit to be caught, completely fucking pointless. Yes, thrillers should have a few red herrings, but this is certainly the longest, drawn-out one I've ever seen. I couldn't help thinking that if they'd dug into the life of the victim and the lives of his family - like most criminal investigations do - this would have all been solved a lot sooner. (And we wouldn't have a book).
I like being taken by surprise. But here I just felt duped, because it wasn't clever enough. Surprise! It's actually this other person who conveniently had a medical background that was never previously mentioned, with a motive that was completely unknown until other facts came to light very late in the novel. I just don't think it's a very fair way to pull a fast one on the reader. If there had been carefully dropped clues throughout the book, I might have felt differently.
For example, the second victim meets up with a mechanic who is actually the killer. I went back and checked, and this person is only referred to as "the mechanic", rather than "he" or "she". So the author has covered his bases there. But it's never explained during the climax how Olivia came to be such a good mechanic she could help fix another guy's boat.
The third victim, a psychologist meets up with the killer, who is only referred to as "the artist". So the author has covered his bases there. However, Hunter later discovers that the killer had a one-off session with the doctor under the alias "David Jones". Which would make one think the killer was male. This is never addressed by the close of the book. Maybe the author thought we would forget this little tidbit?
Then we have the endless, endless pointless dragging out of information. I'll give some examples how many of the chapters end:
Doctor Hove's entire body tingled as if it had been electrified, turning her skin into gooseflesh.
"I'll be damned".
Only to then not explain for a couple of chapters what prompted that response. A later example:
"Wait." Garcia lifted his hand before exchanging a quick, unsettling glance with Hunter. "Why do you say that, Doc?"
The doctor turned around. "Let me show you why."
We're not shown why until a couple of chapters later. Following chapter:
Alice sucked in a startled breath, and it rushed into her lungs like a cold wind.
"OK, now this is very interesting."
It is only several chapters later we find out what is so interesting. Actually, not even then:
"Sorry to interrupt." Her eyes circled the room, making sure she had everyone's attention. "But I think I finally got something."
Does she actually? No. She rambles for three pages about what isn't relevant, before revealing:
"And I might have gotten lucky, because a very strong candidate came up."
Does anybody here actually get to the fucking point? Nobody talks like this! Alice is probably by far the worst offender. Later on:
"Wait until you read both files." She sat at the edge of her desk with a satisfied look on her face. "You'll have to read it to believe it."
If I were part of this investigation, I'd want to wipe that satisfied look off her face. I guess at least she was investigating the wrong guy the whole time. Good one, Alice.
Garcia reached for the second file and flipped it open.
"This is Ken Sands' prison file," he explained. "And here is where it gets a lot more interesting."
Yes, it is several chapters later and they still haven't disclosed the contents of both files, despite knowing what is in them.
Alice threw Garcia a surprised stare. "When you read through the list earlier you never told me that you recognized a name."
Garcia smiled. "You never asked."
JUST FUCKING TELL US. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHAT PLANET DO THEY COME FROM?
There are several more examples, but I think I've made my point.
Sure, character development is thin, the narrative is basically one long red herring, and the revelation of facts is ridiculously prolonged, but this is still manages to be swiftly paced and sufficiently gruesome. It isn't like your usual police procedural, in which detectives sit around on their asses and wait for forensic results. This one actually moves. It isn't dull, which I think is probably the worst criticism you could throw at a thriller. So, while I thought there was a lot of stupid to be found here, I wasn't bored.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Det. Robert Hunter and his partner Det. Carlos Garcia are called to the scene of a disturbing crime, in which a popular prosecutor has been murdered. Not only that, he has been completely dismembered, and his body-parts rearranged to display a gruesome tableau. Because the victim worked for the state, the District Attorney gets involved and assigns their investigator Alice Beaumont to the case to help them out.
They eventually discover that the sculpture was arranged so that it could make a shadow puppet - the shadow of the sculpture creates an image against the wall.
The next murder is of a seasoned police officer, so the team quickly set about trying to find a link between the two bodies. They eventually arrive at the conclusion this is the work of Ken Sands, a criminal recently released from prison, having served his full sentence, and the most likely to have a beef with both victims. He is also super-smart, having studied medicine in jail in order for him to have the skills to amputate limbs.
But if Hunter is to catch Sands, he must figure out what he is trying to say with the shadow puppets he creates out of each murder scene.
First of all, it has to pointed out that the killer isn't Ken Sands at all. This is despite the fact we have chapter after chapter of Hunter, Garcia and Beaumont carrying out an investigation and discovering all the different ways he matches their profile. Cunning, nasty and possessing medical-school abilities that allows him to prolong life while cutting off a person's limbs just to torture them longer. They find a reasonable motive that could push him to carry out the murders.
But who cares about all that set-up? The killer is actually Olivia Nicholson, the daughter of the first victim. It turns out she was adopted and previously dropped out of medical school. Her father, and all the other victims, once made up a group that liked to rape and beat prostitutes. Olivia was the daughter of one who died, and they used their knowledge of the law to dispose of the body (they dismembered it and dumped it in the ocean), and her father adopted her. Upon learning he was dying of cancer, he confessed all to his daughter, prompting the massacre.
Which makes chapter after chapter - pretty much the whole book - setting up Ken Sands as the culprit to be caught, completely fucking pointless. Yes, thrillers should have a few red herrings, but this is certainly the longest, drawn-out one I've ever seen. I couldn't help thinking that if they'd dug into the life of the victim and the lives of his family - like most criminal investigations do - this would have all been solved a lot sooner. (And we wouldn't have a book).
I like being taken by surprise. But here I just felt duped, because it wasn't clever enough. Surprise! It's actually this other person who conveniently had a medical background that was never previously mentioned, with a motive that was completely unknown until other facts came to light very late in the novel. I just don't think it's a very fair way to pull a fast one on the reader. If there had been carefully dropped clues throughout the book, I might have felt differently.
For example, the second victim meets up with a mechanic who is actually the killer. I went back and checked, and this person is only referred to as "the mechanic", rather than "he" or "she". So the author has covered his bases there. But it's never explained during the climax how Olivia came to be such a good mechanic she could help fix another guy's boat.
The third victim, a psychologist meets up with the killer, who is only referred to as "the artist". So the author has covered his bases there. However, Hunter later discovers that the killer had a one-off session with the doctor under the alias "David Jones". Which would make one think the killer was male. This is never addressed by the close of the book. Maybe the author thought we would forget this little tidbit?
Then we have the endless, endless pointless dragging out of information. I'll give some examples how many of the chapters end:
Doctor Hove's entire body tingled as if it had been electrified, turning her skin into gooseflesh.
"I'll be damned".
Only to then not explain for a couple of chapters what prompted that response. A later example:
"Wait." Garcia lifted his hand before exchanging a quick, unsettling glance with Hunter. "Why do you say that, Doc?"
The doctor turned around. "Let me show you why."
We're not shown why until a couple of chapters later. Following chapter:
Alice sucked in a startled breath, and it rushed into her lungs like a cold wind.
"OK, now this is very interesting."
It is only several chapters later we find out what is so interesting. Actually, not even then:
"Sorry to interrupt." Her eyes circled the room, making sure she had everyone's attention. "But I think I finally got something."
Does she actually? No. She rambles for three pages about what isn't relevant, before revealing:
"And I might have gotten lucky, because a very strong candidate came up."
Does anybody here actually get to the fucking point? Nobody talks like this! Alice is probably by far the worst offender. Later on:
"Wait until you read both files." She sat at the edge of her desk with a satisfied look on her face. "You'll have to read it to believe it."
If I were part of this investigation, I'd want to wipe that satisfied look off her face. I guess at least she was investigating the wrong guy the whole time. Good one, Alice.
Garcia reached for the second file and flipped it open.
"This is Ken Sands' prison file," he explained. "And here is where it gets a lot more interesting."
Yes, it is several chapters later and they still haven't disclosed the contents of both files, despite knowing what is in them.
Alice threw Garcia a surprised stare. "When you read through the list earlier you never told me that you recognized a name."
Garcia smiled. "You never asked."
JUST FUCKING TELL US. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHAT PLANET DO THEY COME FROM?
There are several more examples, but I think I've made my point.
Sure, character development is thin, the narrative is basically one long red herring, and the revelation of facts is ridiculously prolonged, but this is still manages to be swiftly paced and sufficiently gruesome. It isn't like your usual police procedural, in which detectives sit around on their asses and wait for forensic results. This one actually moves. It isn't dull, which I think is probably the worst criticism you could throw at a thriller. So, while I thought there was a lot of stupid to be found here, I wasn't bored.
Friday, October 2, 2015
"The Lost Girl" by R.L. Stine
Warning that there will be SPOILERS in this entire post. I say SPOILERS because I'm being very, very generous. It is actually my opinion that everything that transpires in "The Lost Girl" is exceedingly obvious and wouldn't surprise anybody.
We start in Shadyside in 1950. Beth Palmieri is excited at the stable her father is opening, believing it is a turnaround for her family. On her way to the grand opening she is attacked by Aaron Dooley, a guy who fancies her. His attempted rape is averted by what Beth calls her "powers", in which she nearly makes him choke on his own tongue. It should also be mentioned that Aaron is the nephew of Martin Dooley, the main rival of Beth's father. It was his stable in which Beth's father got his start before opening one of his own.
Martin isn't too happy about the new competition, and gets two thugs to kidnap Beth's father. She follows them, and witnesses them murder her father (in a very inventive, gross manner involving starving horses). For some reason, she is unable to use her "powers" to stop this. Because she's too scared or something. "The Lost Girl" isn't big on plausible scenarios, I should mention. Aaron also shows up. Beth is spotted by the thugs and must run for her life to avoid being murdered as well. She winds up in a cave.
We jump to the present day in which Michael Frost becomes captivated by a young girl he sees shoplifting at the shopping centre. When he runs into her at school, he learns that her name is Lizzy Walker. He is totally captivated by her, which is quickly noticed by his girlfriend Pepper Davis. Obviously, she's none too thrilled with it.
Lizzy insinuates her way into Michael's life and manages to get herself invited along to a snowmobile outing with Michael and his friends. The group includes Pepper, his best friend Gabe, and two other friends, Diego and Kathryn. While on his snowmobile, Michael becomes inexplicably frozen, and runs right into a man, seemingly killing him. Lizzy conveniently knows who it is - none of the other kids do - and says that his name is Angel and he's a bad guy who probably deserves to be dead. So they all take off.
However, they realise running off is a stupid thing to do, and return to the scene. Of course, Angel's body is no longer there. It isn't long before Michael receives phone calls from Angel, threatening to harm or kill Michael and his friends. Lizzy gets hit on the head at school, Pepper gets all her hair cut off, Gabe is crushed to death in a car accident, and Diego gets all the skin on his back burnt and ripped off. Despite it being entirely obvious that Lizzy and Angel are in cahoots somehow, Michael is still attracted to Lizzy and agrees to anything she says. She wants him to kill Angel for her, and even has a gun for him to use!
Michael goes with Lizzy to kill Angel, and of course finds out that Lizzy is working with Angel, and they plan to kill him. In fact, they are actually Beth and Aaron from the past. That cave Beth hid in was actually a time-travel cave! Michael is actually Martin Dooley's grandson, which is why Beth wants to kill him. Aaron was horrified by what he saw being done to Beth's father and joined her in her trip to the future. Beth realised that attempted rape actually meant that Aaron loved her (note sarcasm) and let him work with her. They try to shove Michael into the time travel cave, but he turns the tables and they wither away and die.
Or something like that.
"The Lost Girl" is a real clunker, and no better than the quickies that got rushed out in the series' hey-dey in the mid-1990s. It borrows its time travel twist straight out of Stine's own "Beach House", and has absolutely no internal logic in regards to its supernatural element. What are Beth/Lizzy's powers exactly? Where did they come from? What are their strengths and limits? We are given nothing in regards to understanding their place in the plot. Beth/Lizzy can just seem to do stuff when she wants, except for that one time she was scared and she couldn't. Huh?
It was appallingly obvious that Lizzy was Beth. I suppose some people didn't expect time travel as the element that linked them, but come on. If I hadn't read "Beach House" already, I would have felt the explanation was completely pulled out of a hat. It really is ludicrous, whether you can see it coming or not. Same goes for the revelation that Michael is Martin's grandson. There really was no other reason for Beth/Lizzy and Aaron to go after Michael and his friends, so it's hardly a surprise.
The main character of Michael is a putz. Lizzy is clearly a looney-tunes who should be avoided at all costs, but he continues to let her be a part of his life, and can't seem to twig that shit only got weird after Lizzy came into his life and that she was the only person who knew who Angel/Aaron was. The plot argues that Michael was under Beth/Lizzy's spell (more of those mysterious powers), but we all know that Michael was actually a pervy school-boy thinking with his dick.
I had defended "Don't Stay Up Late" against arguments that it was too much in the style of "Goosebumps". The "Fear Street" series was mostly made up of teen murder mysteries, but a few supernatural stories would pop up every now and then. However, we now have 2 out of 3 books in the reboot that are supernatural, and I'm beginning to think R.L. Stine needs a reminder about which series he is actually reviving.
The books of old were typically murder mysteries, written in the third person, with a teenage female as the main character. All 3 new ones have been written in the first person, and now this one gives us a male main character. I understand that 95% of young adult fiction is done in first person these days, but I don't think the kids reading all that dystopian fiction and "Twilight" knock-offs are reading this sort of dumbed-down horror. I think a majority of the audience are actually people like me who devoured the series in the 1990s. I'd like the reboot to actually resemble the series it is rebooting. That's not too much to ask, surely?
I am genuinely befuddled by the idea that anybody who reads this could be legitimately surprised that Lizzy and Beth are the same person and that Beth time-traveled in that cave. Or that Michael was somehow related to Martin Dooley. Or that Angel wasn't dead and was actually Aaron. It shouldn't surprise anybody under the age of 9! Of course, with such gruesome scenes as a man being gnawed to shred by horses, you wouldn't want people under 9 reading this. I've seen quite a few four-and-five star reviews on the Internet - but they all seem to be people who conveniently received an advanced copy for free. I doubt most of them even read it - they refer to Lizzy as Lizzy Palmer, which is her name on the book jacket synopsis, not actually in the story, where she is called Lizzy Walker.
I didn't get an advanced copy for free. I paid $10 for this pile of shit.
The Point Horror relaunch is dead. I suspect "Fear Street" isn't far behind if this is what the reboot has already been reduced to. "Can You Keep A Secret?", due in April next year, sounds depressingly similar to Stine's own "The Rich Girl".
We start in Shadyside in 1950. Beth Palmieri is excited at the stable her father is opening, believing it is a turnaround for her family. On her way to the grand opening she is attacked by Aaron Dooley, a guy who fancies her. His attempted rape is averted by what Beth calls her "powers", in which she nearly makes him choke on his own tongue. It should also be mentioned that Aaron is the nephew of Martin Dooley, the main rival of Beth's father. It was his stable in which Beth's father got his start before opening one of his own.
Martin isn't too happy about the new competition, and gets two thugs to kidnap Beth's father. She follows them, and witnesses them murder her father (in a very inventive, gross manner involving starving horses). For some reason, she is unable to use her "powers" to stop this. Because she's too scared or something. "The Lost Girl" isn't big on plausible scenarios, I should mention. Aaron also shows up. Beth is spotted by the thugs and must run for her life to avoid being murdered as well. She winds up in a cave.
We jump to the present day in which Michael Frost becomes captivated by a young girl he sees shoplifting at the shopping centre. When he runs into her at school, he learns that her name is Lizzy Walker. He is totally captivated by her, which is quickly noticed by his girlfriend Pepper Davis. Obviously, she's none too thrilled with it.
Lizzy insinuates her way into Michael's life and manages to get herself invited along to a snowmobile outing with Michael and his friends. The group includes Pepper, his best friend Gabe, and two other friends, Diego and Kathryn. While on his snowmobile, Michael becomes inexplicably frozen, and runs right into a man, seemingly killing him. Lizzy conveniently knows who it is - none of the other kids do - and says that his name is Angel and he's a bad guy who probably deserves to be dead. So they all take off.
However, they realise running off is a stupid thing to do, and return to the scene. Of course, Angel's body is no longer there. It isn't long before Michael receives phone calls from Angel, threatening to harm or kill Michael and his friends. Lizzy gets hit on the head at school, Pepper gets all her hair cut off, Gabe is crushed to death in a car accident, and Diego gets all the skin on his back burnt and ripped off. Despite it being entirely obvious that Lizzy and Angel are in cahoots somehow, Michael is still attracted to Lizzy and agrees to anything she says. She wants him to kill Angel for her, and even has a gun for him to use!
Michael goes with Lizzy to kill Angel, and of course finds out that Lizzy is working with Angel, and they plan to kill him. In fact, they are actually Beth and Aaron from the past. That cave Beth hid in was actually a time-travel cave! Michael is actually Martin Dooley's grandson, which is why Beth wants to kill him. Aaron was horrified by what he saw being done to Beth's father and joined her in her trip to the future. Beth realised that attempted rape actually meant that Aaron loved her (note sarcasm) and let him work with her. They try to shove Michael into the time travel cave, but he turns the tables and they wither away and die.
Or something like that.
"The Lost Girl" is a real clunker, and no better than the quickies that got rushed out in the series' hey-dey in the mid-1990s. It borrows its time travel twist straight out of Stine's own "Beach House", and has absolutely no internal logic in regards to its supernatural element. What are Beth/Lizzy's powers exactly? Where did they come from? What are their strengths and limits? We are given nothing in regards to understanding their place in the plot. Beth/Lizzy can just seem to do stuff when she wants, except for that one time she was scared and she couldn't. Huh?
It was appallingly obvious that Lizzy was Beth. I suppose some people didn't expect time travel as the element that linked them, but come on. If I hadn't read "Beach House" already, I would have felt the explanation was completely pulled out of a hat. It really is ludicrous, whether you can see it coming or not. Same goes for the revelation that Michael is Martin's grandson. There really was no other reason for Beth/Lizzy and Aaron to go after Michael and his friends, so it's hardly a surprise.
The main character of Michael is a putz. Lizzy is clearly a looney-tunes who should be avoided at all costs, but he continues to let her be a part of his life, and can't seem to twig that shit only got weird after Lizzy came into his life and that she was the only person who knew who Angel/Aaron was. The plot argues that Michael was under Beth/Lizzy's spell (more of those mysterious powers), but we all know that Michael was actually a pervy school-boy thinking with his dick.
I had defended "Don't Stay Up Late" against arguments that it was too much in the style of "Goosebumps". The "Fear Street" series was mostly made up of teen murder mysteries, but a few supernatural stories would pop up every now and then. However, we now have 2 out of 3 books in the reboot that are supernatural, and I'm beginning to think R.L. Stine needs a reminder about which series he is actually reviving.
The books of old were typically murder mysteries, written in the third person, with a teenage female as the main character. All 3 new ones have been written in the first person, and now this one gives us a male main character. I understand that 95% of young adult fiction is done in first person these days, but I don't think the kids reading all that dystopian fiction and "Twilight" knock-offs are reading this sort of dumbed-down horror. I think a majority of the audience are actually people like me who devoured the series in the 1990s. I'd like the reboot to actually resemble the series it is rebooting. That's not too much to ask, surely?
I am genuinely befuddled by the idea that anybody who reads this could be legitimately surprised that Lizzy and Beth are the same person and that Beth time-traveled in that cave. Or that Michael was somehow related to Martin Dooley. Or that Angel wasn't dead and was actually Aaron. It shouldn't surprise anybody under the age of 9! Of course, with such gruesome scenes as a man being gnawed to shred by horses, you wouldn't want people under 9 reading this. I've seen quite a few four-and-five star reviews on the Internet - but they all seem to be people who conveniently received an advanced copy for free. I doubt most of them even read it - they refer to Lizzy as Lizzy Palmer, which is her name on the book jacket synopsis, not actually in the story, where she is called Lizzy Walker.
I didn't get an advanced copy for free. I paid $10 for this pile of shit.
The Point Horror relaunch is dead. I suspect "Fear Street" isn't far behind if this is what the reboot has already been reduced to. "Can You Keep A Secret?", due in April next year, sounds depressingly similar to Stine's own "The Rich Girl".
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