While I'm still on the topic of remakes, I imagine one remake that will never see the light of day is a reimagining of the obscure 80s movie "Black Devil Doll From Hell". I bring this movie up because it partly inspired this blog and is, obviously, referenced in the blog's name. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the name, which was thought up by my dad (thanks dad!) although I can't say I have any sort of appreciation for "Valley Of The Dolls", either the book or the movies - but it makes for a good title.
"Black Devil Doll From Hell" is worth tracking down and finding for the name alone, right? Or is that just me? Anyway, the viewing experience forever left its mark on me, even more so than "Croaked: Frog Monster From Hell" and "A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell". And yes, both those movies exist. And yes, I've seen them both. And yes, I need help. The devil doll of the title is a rustafarian-looking ventriloquist dummy thing purchased from a store by a frumpy, sexually-repressed, highly-religious church-goer. Despite warnings from the store owner that the puppet always returns to the store no matter what, Helen goes ahead and takes the doll home. Well, suffice to say, this action eventually leads to the doll knocking Helen out, tying her to the bed and having his way with her. I'm serious.
If ventriloquist dummy rape weren't offensive enough, Helen winds up enjoying the experience so much she doesn't want it to stop. When the doll pulls a runner, Helen tries to recreate the puppet pleasure with mere mortals, but the men she pulls in off the street simply can't satisfy her the way the doll did. I won't spoil any more, just in case someone out there, like me, has now decided they can't wait one more second before tracking this oddity down. If you do have the same terrific taste in the bizarre as I do, it can be found at cultrararevideos.com. You can't download it - you have to watch it on the website, although they have countless other rare movies that you can download. I was in heaven when I found this site, I can tell you.
And "Black Devil Doll From Hell" did obtain some sort of video release back in the 1980s because I found a listing for it in "Mick Martin & Marsha Porter's Video & DVD Guide 2003". They gave it two stars and called it sluggish and predictable. Predictable??? I can say with certainty that I was not expecting most of what I came across in this movie and I'm usually pretty good at guessing what will happen next in a movie. A ventriloquist dummy that rapes and verbally abuses its owner tends to fall under "what the - ???" for me. I even joined a group on facebook about this movie, so it goes to show other people have been forever changed by the experience of watching it. Okay, only about 60 out of the millions that use facebook, but at least I'm not alone anymore.
So there you go. You know something about what inspired the name of this blog. You probably wish you didn't. Oh well.